Balance

Tomorrow is my first day back at work since May 6^th, the day I found out about the cancer.  I’m excited but also a little nervous since I was going at the speed of light before this all happened. 

One thing I am trying to learn through this journey is balance.  I am a very passionate person and I have a hard time “walking away” from things that I am engaged in.  Therefore, for me, going back to work is something that I have given quite a bit of thought to in terms of how I can balance my passion for serving my business partners with my increased need for balance and a lower stress lifestyle.  Luckily I am blessed with a boss and employer who have been very understanding about my situation and are working with me on a plan for this to happen in the best way possible.

I had a great weekend get-away to Newport Beach, where I attended an LDS singles conference and did some socializing.  I even made it to Disneyland for a few hours.  The roller coaster rides were a bit too much for me, so we stuck to the lower key shows and attractions.  I even got special treatment as a cancer patient and got to go to the front of the line on several occasions.  It was fun to be at “the happiest place on earth” and I enjoyed just being on vacation for a couple of days.

I have been feeling very good for the past week and have only had minimal headaches from the hair loss.  After shaving my head on Wednesday, I have tried wearing my wig each day but am not really loving it the way I had hoped.  My head still hurts a bit and it looks too obvious to me that it is a wig -  it’s amazing how much the little sideburns we have make a difference in the overall look of the hair.  I’m wishing I hadn’t shaved those off.

As a side note, I still have stubble vs. the smooth, no hair cancer patient look you normally see.  I was told by so many people that it would all be gone by now, so perhaps that prayer to save my hair worked after all?  I guess there’s no turning back – I don’t think it is growing, just not falling out completely.  On a positive note, I haven’t had to shave in about a week – so I won’t complain about that AND I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes :) – very happy about that!

So overall I am very happy with my minimized side effects.  I am doing acupuncture 3 times a week and I credit this and other alternative therapies in  helping me have a better experience.  As I prepare for Chemo Round III on Thursday, I pray that things will continue as well as they have. 

Here’s my favorite quote for the week:

"The more we know the Savior, the longer becomes our view. The more we see His truths, the more we feel His joy. But it is one thing to know that’s the right answer in a Sunday School class and quite another to experience firsthand a cheerful outlook when current circumstances are far from what we hoped. If we would

develop faith to apply the Atonement in this manner and not merely talk about it, awareness of imaginary finite boundaries, inadvertently placed on the Savior’s infinite sacrifice, can be meaningful."  Camille Fronk Olson

I’m thankful for the perspective the gospel of Jesus Christ gives to my life.  I know it is real and has touched my life deeply.  Thank you for your faith and prayers in helping me learn these truths even more powerfully through this journey.